It is safe to rest in the knowledge that our lives need change, with no time limit on how often they do. Maybe, we might feel more comfortable sitting with the fact that it is OK that none of what we used to encompass resembles who we are in this present moment, what our lives need from us or what it is we wish to see for ourselves in the future. We are hindering our own growth, one with infinite potential, by clinging to the heels of all we thought were, at one blink in time, when in fact we may have well outgrown it, creating the stagnancy we are trying to stop.
I have found that in my personal experience with myself or those I work with, there can be an obligation that attaches us to a situation or a person because we refuse to let go of the guilt associated with outgrowing them. To outgrow a part of the life we are unhappy with is not something that necessarily takes years to happen; this is something that can take months or even weeks. Growth is an essential part of life, this is not something that puts one on a pedestal, it has many gradients, with many ebbs and flows, ones that you would see within nature. Remembering, that not all of nature can grow in tandem at all times, it would be unfair to put this high expectation on the parts of life around us, as growth happens through experience and all of these are nothing but magically unique opportunities to learn from, affecting us all differently.
It is often, I see the gift of freedom abandoned or tossed aside; neglecting the prospect of having the power to change our minds whenever we want to. This can happen due to seeing how one needs to be active with change but they avoid this means promoting change within themselves, which can be scary. Change is stepping outside a space of life we have walked for some time, all in order to walk into a life where we are sponsoring ourselves. Sponsoring ourselves, most likely something we subconsciously run away from and more than likely avoided to place someone else‘s needs above our own or to seek someone’s approval. We must learn the practice of putting ourselves first, because it is with this action, that we can create a space, solitude, a true higher perspective on reasons we stay in situations that no longer serve us in the first place. A common example is when those we care about go through troubled times, the kind we are ‘obligated’ to fix or dissolve, doing anything, including jeopardising our passion, taking them away from learning their own lesson or perhaps it could be about squeezing ourselves a little better into their idea of a ‘perfect’ sized shoe.
As we detach from this obligation that stems from within us and get grounded into an understanding that we can only thrive on these transitions, life’s ebbs and flows, we can come to understand that our only duty may benefit from being to look out for ourselves, protecting us from the situations that we cannot control. We are emptying our energy tanks by having the constant faith that we have the power to make people change. Let’s not forget that it is not our responsibility to hold the space for them if they are not wanting to change, neither is it our responsibility to show them the ‘correct’ way to live, this is not even a judgement anyone should make upon another. Maybe it is time we spend more of our time focusing inwards and looking at the ways that we can develop our own lives and better ourselves as human beings.
Many Blessings, Dara