This week we want to focus in on the relationships we hold onto even though we know they aren’t good for us.
These types of situations tend to go down differently. At first, everything is perfect. He’ll shower you with compliments, make you feel as if there is nobody else in the world besides you, and the two of you will stay up all night long having deep conversations that nourish your souls and make your energies feel like one. You will feel on top of the world and will anxiously await the next perfect encounter. Then, everything starts to change.
He may not get aloof or distant, but you will see a substantial shift in behavior. The compliments stop, the attention you got before stops, and without you even realizing it, he will start to do everything possible to control the situation. You will feel as if you are at his beck and call and will follow along with everything he says in hopes things will go back to the way they were before. You may even go out of your way to do things to please him, but you are likely to see little to nothing in return. He may even start making you feel bad about the things you do or lousy about who you are.
Behavior like this unfortunately happens quite a bit and is form of control. There are a lot of guys out there who subconsciously thrive on this. Once they have you hooked, their energy will shift and you will feel as if you are trying to climb over an insurmountable obstacle to keep the connection alive. Too often, we hold onto these situations, complain to our friends about his behavior, but take no action to make ourselves feel better. Our friends will tell us to let it go, but we hold on anyway because we know the way he really is. While venting and releasing any negative energies from our own soul is always a good thing, the patterns will continue to repeat until we are strong enough to walk away. If you are experiencing this type of situation, know that constant complaining only provides temporary relief and will not permanently solve anything. These temporary periods of relief can keep you stuck in a situation that will only continue to make you feel bad. If you find yourself constantly complaining about his behavior and the negatives are outweighing the positives, ask yourself the below questions – then look within and make a concrete decision that best serves you and your life.
Do you feel like everything you say is wrong?
If you are questioning your own authentic behavior and are putting the blame back on yourself for being yourself, then it’s time to make a change. Try to have a conversation with him and let him know how you are feeling. If that goes nowhere, then it may just be time to make a decision to end it all together.
Are you making excuses for him?
If you find yourself rationalizing all of his unfair actions and making excuses for his behavior in order to maintain the strength to keep holding on, then it’s also time to look at your connection in different way. Don’t get me wrong, we all make mistakes in relationships. We all say things we wish we could take back, but that doesn’t mean we need to consume all the blame ourselves and believe it is our fault things are playing out as they are. Guys who exhibit this type of behaviour typically have deeply embedded insecurities they have yet to face. That is not your battle to fight especially if you have felt emotionally beaten for quite some time now. While it’s important to be supportive in relationships, support doesn’t mean you should allow unfair treatment all the time.
Are you letting go of your own dreams in order to do what he wants?
Once he has you hooked, you may even find yourself letting go of your own aspirations in order to continue pleasing him. If you are always doing what he wants to do or what he believes you should do, realize that isn’t fair either. You have a right to live your own life and do things that bring you happiness. He may even go as far as telling you there is no future if start doing this or that. This is another form of control and a huge signal it’s time to remove yourself from the situation all together.
It’s scary to start over. The thought of never feeling a deep connection again will cause you to keep fighting on, keep complaining, and keep feeling bad about everything else that is going on in your life. When it’s time to walk away, do it. When it’s time to free yourself from anything holding you back, take action. When you have given it your all and are still seeing no results whatsoever, don’t blame yourself, end it. Complaining about it is not a long term solution and will cause you keep holding on. You will feel miserable and drained. You will also experience sleepless nights where you question every single action you take. Remember, it’s not you, it’s him. You deserve to feel alive and you deserve to liberate yourself from toxic situations.
If you are currently dealing with a relationship that has flip flopped from wonderful to miserable and find yourself only complaining and feeling bad about it, reach out directly to any one of our trusted Tarot Readers. They have the ability to tune into your partner and read actual intent. They can also provide you with invaluable spiritual advice to help you regain complete control over your life.