Forgiveness; Insight From Our Advisor Jewel

jewel 7 wandsHello this is Jewel. I’m here to talk about  forgiveness/forgiving. Forgiving someone is very hard to do, but it’s the best thing to do.  Forgiveness is letting the situation go, and forgetting about it.  If you were hurt, used, cheated on, taken advantage of, or anything else by someone, or something. You have to forgive and forget, in order to move on from the situation. After you have forgiven the person, the act or the situation, you will feel free you will not have that grudge  or that burden, you will not have that hurt. It may still be in your mind but it will be out of your heart.  I have put down a card from my tarot deck. We have here the seven of wands, this card does mean and represent seven amazing things. Love, happiness, care, forgiveness, strength, peace, and  honesty. Now with forgiving someone and forgetting about that situation brings peace happiness love and care.  This Tarot card does confirm. Let go and let the universe take care of the rest.  Be happy be loved and cared for and don’t look back.

The practice of forgiveness has been shown to reduce anger, hurt depression and stress and leads to greater feelings of hope, peace, compassion and self confidence. Practicing forgiveness leads to healthy relationships as well as physical health. It also influences our attitude which opens the heart to kindness, beauty, and love.

Here are 9 steps that you can do to make forgiveness happen

  1. Know exactly how you feel about what happened and be able to articulate what about the situation is not OK. Then, tell a trusted couple of people about your experience.
  2. Make a commitment to yourself to do what you have to do to feel better. Forgiveness is for you and not for anyone else.
  3. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person that hurt you, or condoning of their action. What you are after is to find peace. Forgiveness can be defined as the “peace and understanding that come from blaming that which has hurt you less, taking the life experience less personally, and changing your grievance story.”
  4. Get the right perspective on what is happening. Recognize that your primary distress is coming from the hurt feelings, thoughts and physical upset you are suffering now, not what offended you or hurt you two minutes – or ten years – ago. Forgiveness helps to heal those hurt feelings.
  5. At the moment you feel upset practice a simple stress management technique to soothe your body’s flight or fight response.
  6. Give up expecting things from other people, or your life, that they do not choose to give you. Recognize the “unenforceable rules” you have for your health or how you or other people must behave. Remind yourself that you can hope for health, love, peace and prosperity and work hard to get them.
  7. Put your energy into looking for another way to get your positive goals met than through the experience that has hurt you. Instead of mentally replaying your hurt seek out new ways to get what you want.
  8. Remember that a life well lived is your best revenge. Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, and thereby giving the person who caused you pain power over you, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you. Forgiveness is about personal power.
  9. Amend your grievance story to remind you of the heroic choice to forgive.

These 9 steps are from http://learningtoforgive.com

 

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